Location: DFW Airport
In breaking with the tradition of going to my wife's grandmother's house for Thanksgiving, in 2009 we decided to go to Disney World with my parents, my sister, and my neice.
After enjoying the wonderful experience of living life as a flying sardine for two hours, we found ourselves trekking across DFW airport. After traversing the wild jungle of holiday travel, as well as amusing ourselves with some of the wonders which can only be found in the airport,
we found ourselves lacking nourishment, and so decided to settle in for a nice quite meal...at T.G.I. Friday's.
We squeezed, wedged, and pushed our way through until we found a small, round table with bar stools. After being greeted by our friendly young waiter, I looked over at the television to check the football scores, as well as lament the fact that this young man was working on a day when he should be at home, in sweats, eating a turkey dog while playing Assassin's Creed II. My mind wandered from processed meat and Renaissance Venice to wondering where those airport employees park to get to work? Do they have to ride shuttles like the rest of us travelers? Or is there a super cool airport parking level, complete with ambient lighting, a made-to-order Starbucks station at each parking spot, and airport moving walkways?
Despite thinking I should try to stick as close to traditional Thanksgiving food as possible, I ordered a burger. I don't recall the description of said burger, I just remember thinking something to the effect of, "Eh, sounds pretty good." Boy, was I ever wrong.
The food arrived and it looked like a normal, run-of-the mill burger you would get at Friday's/Applebee's/Chili's. I gently lifted the sandwich from the plate, brought it to my mouth, and sunk my teeth in. Words cannot describe my reaction to the first bite. Instead, I give you a visual reference, from one of my favorite shows:
"This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread." This burger was not pretty good. It was AMAZING.
Now you may be wondering, "Wait, I thought this was supposed to be about the WORST Thanksgiving dish." Well you are correct. But what made this burger so good, is what also made it SO bad.
You see, had this burger been your standard bun-patty-cheddar-pickle-tomato-lettuce-ketchup-mustard combination, it would have only qualified as "really good". But NO, my friends. This burger had a secret element, a trump card if you will. And that trump card was made of fried cheese.
Yes, it was as if your basic burger and an order of mozzarella sticks hooked up after having one too many drinks at the bar, made a decision they would both regret the next morning, and produced a love-child. And I ate that love child. It was an appetizer and a main dish all rolled into one. A burger with a second patty, made entirely of fried cheese.
So why was it the "worst" dish? Despite the copious amounts of food generally consumed on Thanksgiving, I can, without a doubt, say this was the most unhealthy food item I have ever eaten. It was practically sinful. I could almost feel my arteries clogging as the meat and cheese oils combined to make a perfect fusion of awesome in my mouth.
And while I may never eat that burger again, I'll always remember how fate drew us to an over-priced chain restaurant in a busy airport, and changed my life forever.
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